Lament (Harry Potter and Twilight Crossover)
by Xx-Kylie-B-xX
Summary: Death is painless, Death is easy. Its living that drives you mad, pushes you to your limits. yes I've fallen into the crossovers and this is one of them.
1. Prologue

OK I don't really know Twilight except the first one cause I think the first director did the story justice. And the book was something to read. Now I love harry Potter and I've seem to have exhausted all options for the fan fiction so I dabbled into the crossovers and I have to say there are quite a few good Harry potter X Twilight ones out there anyways here's my shot at it enjoy!

Each day we struggle and each day we strive.  
Every second someone is born and the next someone dies.  
Still the world will keeps turning it has no reason to stop and no time to care. stuck in a infinite loop time repeats itself playing over and over the same story. It gets a little old for me when living is irrelevant, when your thrown out of the timeline without a second glance forced to live each day stuck where it ended watching all the people live a life with struggles and smiles knowing they'll meet death soon. It pisses me off I didn't choose this life and I probably didn't deserve this, but I guess I drew the fucking short stick on this one Fuck me!. Seems fate likes to see how far she could screw me over. My stomach growled complaining to me to get some kind of nourishment into me. "Well time to go feed"as I jump of my perch. Feeling myself falling knowing no harm can Come. Like a cat I land with gracefulness not known to man. I see my next victim a homeless man scrounging around each day he suffers. Trying to find hope he lives.  
The kill is quick and swift not longing to prolong it I bite. As blood stained my hands and clothes, I long ago stopped being repulsed at this, and the nightmares dulled into a black infinity. I grew to accept that this was how I was to live,to much of a coward to kill myself. I lived with this curse. Slowly losing my sanity after I lost my only love all because I denied what I had become, I ignored the hunger, pushed to my breaking point I killed my only light. The only thing keeping me grounded. My one last connection to the life I lived. I could try rejecting to feed again but I couldn't risk going on a rampage. I understand i'm weak so if I cant be Good then I'll succumb to instinct time and time again. Looking down at my latest victims eyes, I couldn't tear away from the far off vacant stare they held. The terror that resided in them would never vanish. It becomes another scar to my soul, another sight to haunt the deepest depths of my mind. And it all started so long ago... hard to believe I've been alive 30 years. All my friends gone on with their lives. They probably even had a few kids. I'm left behind...Fuck! Slamming my hand on the faded brick wall the spot I hit crumbling like fine velvet dust. I look up and see the faded orange hue that signifies another sunrise. If only a sunrise brought me that hope most people see when they gaze upon it. Ill never get that sense of happiness ever again. All I will ever see is a burning dying light.

Ok so this is just something I had in my drafts I dont know if it makes sense  
But it does to me  
so yeah thanx for reading


	2. Chapter 1

It started like any other day I woke up and faced my destiny. Corny as hell I know but I thought, I hoped that once I dealt with this shadow hanging over my head. That if I handled it I'd be free. Free to be just me, not some hero, not the boy who lived. No that'd I'd be just harry. But as I've proven time and time again fate can and will screw me over.

I vaguely remember it he was dead. I killed him we were free. No longer worried about death just around the corner.I-we did it we lost so many people but we did it. sadly that's where the happiness stops, Next thing I know I take a break from the celebration we all had. We mourned and we celebrated. Then I feel hands and this pain on my neck and then burning. A constant burning going through my body. It coursed through me, the venom from the bite not stopping. The pain was something not even close to the cruciartis. Was I screaming? I'd never know if I was with all this intense burning. My limbs felt consumed by a burning fire, it went on for what felt like an eternity. Until the pain focused in one certain area it was like an erupting and burning more intense than ever like an explosion it was quick and painful.

Then it faded now a foreign feeling I opened my eyes and it all looked so clear, More clear than I've ever seen. Even with glasses I don't think I'd notice all the cracks on the familiar infirmary walls. Sitting up felt weird, Looking around the room I noticed the lack of people. This was weird where was everyone jumping out of bed I decided to go looking around. Only to find myself hitting an invisible wall. Without a thought a small snarl leaves my mouth. jolting a little at that I hear the sound of footsteps approaching me.

In a small daze I hear as they begin arguing outside the school infirmary doors. All though it all sounded like mumbles the invisible walls softening the voices to a bunch of mumbles. Finally the door squeaks open and I see the familiar faces of my two best friends. I glare at them remembering that I'm caged in like a wild animal. "Hello Harry, I see your finally up" Hermione speaks softly "Yeah hey, harry how you feeling?" Ron asks after. I turn away from them and sigh it feels weird to be breathing. I finally ask "why is this thing around me? Why..." I stop not really having much to ask. And finding i didnt want to reply to their questions either."Well what do you remember ?" Ron asks I mull that sentence over and I can't really say I remember much after the burning pain began. "Actually not much" I ask keeping my panick at bay at how my voice sounds andthe lack of my memory "I remember the battle was over and then a burning, why?". I turn to look at them hoping they'll she'd some light on the reason why.

They look at at each other debating it to each other with their eyes. "Well Harry, know one is judging you negatively after all it was out of everyone's control" she turns to Ron "and me and Ron certainly don't think any different if you". She stops her rambling and looks at me with a certain look in her eyes, a look that I've become so familiar with...pity. "What happend?" I ask wanting it to me straight no trying to find a way around it "tell me, now!" I ask some panic and anger making it into my voice. "You've been bitten" Ron blurts out in his own bluntness that I have to appreciate as of this moment. "Bitten!? By what!?" I stand up they flinch at that movement, taking notice of that I wait for them to answer. "...A vampire..." Hermione says I feel myself numb and my mind go blank. A vampire, I've been bitten by a vampire. "Fuck!" I yell slamming my hand against the invisible wall, a small Crack forming. Looking at the Crack I ask in a small voice "how long have I been out?" I hear Ron reply "a few days...". I see so I've been out a few days, while I was in transition...while I slowly died. "Harry, are you ok?" Hermione asks me "Yeah" I say "can I be alone?. "I need some time to think" they nod their heads and turn to leave. "Well always be your friends Harry" Hermione says as she shuts the door. I don't answer or show that I'm listening I stand there stewing in rage and sadness.

 **OK** **that's** **the next chapter** **I** **did, I'm** **pretty sure the** **updates for** **this will be far in between.**


	3. Chapter 2

I was never a bitter person, and I always thought that I had a lot of things to be bitter about. My home life, they way my life turned out, always hunted by a psychotic mad man. I suppose there was always stuff balancing out the bitterness. The happy things gave me hope that there was always something better just waiting around the corner. I guess I was the fool for thinking that, that simple naivety I had kept me ignorant and complacent to reality.

I stayed and let myself stew in these whirling emotions that had no outlet. My anger, my sadness, that building, the building hopelessness I have. How can I ever find happiness now that I'm a monster, a creature that feeds on the blood of humans. My very existence disgusts me, makes me angrier. So lost in my thoughts I didn't hear the door open, the footsteps approach me. Only when they spoke did I give them my full attention, Remus if I could cry the tears would surely be dripping down my face.

He smiled at me, "Harry" he didn't say alot and yet he said everything. In his voice I heard understanding and acceptance, I felt his love for me and unwavering loyalty. He could empathize with my situation, understand like know one else would and we both knew it. It didn't stop the negative feelings but it made it so much easier to live with what I was now. I'd never be human again but that didn't mean I had to stop living, That I couldn't still be Harry. And maybe for now that would be enough, maybe I'd find more to be alive for.

I looked into Remus's eyes and simply said "thank you" it was all that was needed and it said everything. His eyes crinkled and he laughed "anytime cub" I wouldn't Worry about it for now I'd let the little happiness I had and simply bask in it. We enjoyed the silence, neither of us willing to disturb it with unnecessary words.

The moment was interupted to quickly, as Hermione slammed the doors open, I couldn't fault her for it though. She looked nervous and sad as she stood there. Taking a deep breath she started "Harry! I know your upset but your making everyone worry!". She started and I couldn't hold back the laugh, some things don't change and I'm glad for that. She stood there stunned with a small blush in her cheeks. "It's ok Hermione, I know I was being a little childish." I looked at her and at Remus before continuing "I'm sorry for worrying everyone". I looked around the small dome surrounding me "think you could let me out now?". They both looked at each other and smiled at me, Pulling out his wand Remus said a few words and the dome collapsed on it's self. The smell hit me like a wrecking ball, I never smelt so much, like my eyes it all seemed so new and I couldn't believe how much my senses improved.

Still a thought interupted and halted any others " how come I'm not going in a rampage and draining you dry?" They both laughed and Remus went off into a lecture "well for one thing harry I'm a werewolf, not exactly high on you feeding list" as he said that I looked at him a smelt, my nose wrinkled at it" Im Sorry Remus but you smell horrible" it was so intense like wet dog and so much more". He laughed " yes, one thing you'll learn is that different creatures have different smells, veela,werewolf, and vampire" I didn't know that. "however only some creatures have that heightened sense of smell to actually be able to tell what creature is what".

I looked at Hermione, curiosity getting the better of me I took a whiff and was so confused she didn't smell bad, it was hard to discern if she smelt good either. It was a foreign smell, I couldn't place and yet I could feel static coming off her. My face probably giving away my confusion, Remus filled me in. "That cub is the smell of magic, its not really a smell and yet were able to recognize that there not simply human."

These new senses confused me so much, it'd be something I'd have to adapt to, It felt so foreign and continued "It makes living among magical creatures easier, sadly only a little. Where still creatures Harry it's a balance we have to hold. We must always fight for control". He gave a sad smile and walked to the door before he left he simply said " If we continue this fight, its so much more satisfying". With his words continuing to echo in my head I sighed.

Days pass and eventually I find myself a little niche, everyone was understanding and I found acxeptance, I didn't think I'd get. Some days I get get a strong hunger. Its painful ignoring it, denying it.  
I thought I was free from these sad and bitter up and down feelings. As my emotions learn to make any sense of what I really want to feel. I sigh as I've come to accept these unstable and hypersensitive emotions that course through my mind. As the thoughts also won't stop their chaotic tangle they form in me. I haven't accepted it but, I learned to tolerate this situation I was thrown into.

Since I've awoken my magic is out of control. If I begin to feel intense emotions things explode. Then there's the feeding, that I can't or won't try. I know that there'll always be that small part of me that craves it, needs it. That would stop at nothing to get it, it calls to me, beckons me closer. I've imagined it so many times, can almost taste and feel the blood filling my mouth. Still the part of me that still feels human denies it with an aboslute vehemence. I'll not lose the last of who I am, for awhile I've been living off of blood replenishers.

I know it's not a permanent solution, yet I dont have alot of options that im willing to attempt. If I use a donor I'm giving that small chance of going wild. I won't succomb to that animalistic side of me. The words Remus told me keep coming to the forefront of my mind, it's a constant fight for balance.

 **So there's** **the next chapter done, I've** **also decided to not kill off Remus, Still thinking on other stuff for this story.**


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